The Ballad of the Filthy Throne

[Verse 1] Stumbled in the tavern Belly startin' to turn Pint and a pie When will I learn Asked the barkeep softly "Where's your little room?" He just laughed and pointed to my doom [Chorus] Oh curse this cracked and crusty throne (hey!) Stains on the seat and the light half gone My poor proud arse has never felt so low In the reek of the rogue latrine below Oh saints preserve me Hear me groan Forced to sit on the filthy throne [Verse 2] Door won't lock It just swings wide Toilet paper's sittin' in a puddled tide Floor's all slick with a stranger's sin And someone carved "RUN" in the rusted tin [Chorus] Oh curse this cracked and crusty throne (hey!) Stains on the seat and the light half gone My poor proud arse has never felt so low In the reek of the rogue latrine below Oh saints preserve me Hear me groan Forced to sit on the filthy throne [Bridge] I tried the hover Knees knockin' in fear (whoa) Breath held tight Prayin' "get me out of here" If I escape I swear on my soul I'll build an outhouse beside me front door [Chorus] Oh curse this cracked and crusty throne (hey!) Stains on the seat and the light half gone My poor proud arse has never felt so low In the reek of the rogue latrine below So raise your glass and guard your bone Lest you fall to the filthy throne